Keeping Kids Safe on Social Media
Abbey Collins, SART Prevention EducationCoordinator – Weld County
Social media is an ever-growing, ever-changing, world that kids always seem to know just a little bit more about than adults. Various articles warn of the negative effects of social media like more anxiety and lower self-esteem, differing brain development, loss of sleep, mental health effects, and lowered social skills. These articles don’t even include the potential privacy/safety concerns that can result from youth knowingly or unknowingly sharing personal information online.
After reading about all of these potential “dangers” of social media, it can feel really overwhelming as a parent to try to keep your children safe when they’re online. As someone who works closely with youth and regularly has open and honest conversations with middle and high school students about safe use social media, I’m here to tell you, it’s not all bad. There are some simple ways that you can start having these conversations with the children in your life to make you and your children feel more comfortable with social media use.
Start with the positives!
Start a conversation with the children in your life about what social media they use. Ask why they enjoy using social media and what they feel they get out of it. Most importantly, listen to the answers and show genuine interest in how they respond. Talking about the positive aspects of social media is a great way to start the conversation in a non-threatening way. This conversation will also help you gain a 
deeper understanding of how your child views social media, what types of social media they use, and even some of the types of posts they like to make.
In conversations I’ve had with youth, they often tell me how they feel supported using social media, because they know their friends can be reached quickly and easily if they have a problem. They also love the positive feedback they get from posting photos and updates. I’ve also heard multiple times that social media has helped them stay connected to friends and relatives that live far away. Youth get reminded pretty regularly that there are dangers to social media, both in school and through other sources, so giving them a chance to talk about why they enjoy social media is a great conversation starter.
Ask questions!
Once the child(ren) have had a chance to express what they like about social media, start asking some questions about some things that may upset them or frustrate them when they use social media. You can start by asking a broad question like “Is there anything you don’t like about social media?” “Are there certain sites/apps that you don’t like using as much as other? Why is that?”
If your child answers these questions vaguely, or isn’t able to come up with anything they don’t like about social media, you can ask more specific questions. Some examples may be: “Do you ever see people being mean to other people online? Has anyone ever been mean to you online?”. You can go even further by asking questions like “Why do you think people are mean to others online? Do you think it is easier to say mean things to others online than it would be to say those same things in person?”
In my experience, youth are open to having these conversations, especially if you begin to ask some of these direct questions. You can change up these questions to be relevant to your child or issues that you know have come up in your child’s life.
Talk about Boundaries in all aspects of life
Here at SAVA, we love to talk about boundaries: physical, social, emotional, AND technological. It is important to talk to the children in your life about all kinds of boundaries and to make sure they know how to set technological boundaries in addition to the other types of boundaries.
We have our phones with us pretty much at all times, which makes it easy for other people to contact us at all times. Although this can definitely be a benefit, it can also feel really overwhelming to try to respond to every message that you’re sent. When I talk to kids about technological boundaries, I explain that even though it’s
possible to have a conversation with someone 24/7, it may not be healthy. I tell kids that if at any point you feel like you are unable to have a life outside of a certain friendship or relationship because they demand that you remain in constant communication with them, that is an unhealthy friendship/relationship. It is ALWAYS okay to set those boundaries and say “I’m not free to talk right now, let’s talk tomorrow” or “I need some time to do my homework before I can text you, I’ll let you know when I’m done”. Giving the children in your life language to use to set their own boundaries can be really helpful.
You won’t know everything, and that’s OKAY
Social media changes nearly every day. There are new apps that are being released all the time and it’s hard to keep up. It’s important to understand that you won’t know every single thing your child is doing online, and that’s okay. We can teach the children in our lives skills to keep themselves safe and set appropriate boundaries for their social media use. Most importantly, keep an open line of communication so that if your child does find themselves in an unsafe situation, they always know they have a trusted adult they can reach out to.