Defining Masculinity
By: Brett Naylor, Prevention Education Coordinator
If you’ve been listening to the media loop over the past few years, you’ve probably heard a lot of discussion regarding masculinity. This discussion peaks regularly like when Gillette released a new advertisement asking about the best a man can get. This ad received an outpouring of negative responses claiming that Gillette (and many others) have no idea what masculinity is and that masculinity itself is in danger. This is not a new response. Whenever there’s an ad, a presentation, a public stance, etc. about unhealthy masculinity and the harm it does, there is always a loud outpouring of comments similar to the ones Gillette received. These comments highlight an issue that currently plagues our society regarding the misconception of what masculinity truly is and there seems to be a lot of confusion. Everyone seems to have their own definition of masculinity, which is not necessarily a bad thing, but some of these definitions are extremely unhealthy and harmful. So as a society we should address these misconceptions.
You may have heard the term “toxic masculinity” before and that many people don’t believe it’s real. So first, let’s acknowledge that it is real and that it is not something we should ignore. Toxic masculinity is any masculinity that serves to undermine and hurt others in an effort to obtain power and control. Toxic masculinity affects everyone from women and men to all other gender identities. So before we can discuss healthy masculinity, we have to understand what masculinity is not.
Masculinity is NOT:
A Box: Our society enforces toxic masculinity by forcing masculinity into a confined box. This box represents various stereotypes society holds about what it means to be a man. Some examples include that men should be dominant, be pursuers, be big and muscular, never show emotions (except anger), etc. By pushing masculinity into a confined box we end up hurting men, as well as encouraging those men to do the same to others which can lead to certain forms of violence.
Violence: When talking about forms of violence it’s important to recognize and discuss the role that men play within most violence, but more specifically gender violence, such as our current society’s rape culture. Based on the current statistics, for female identified victims of rape, 97% of the perpetrators were male and for male victims of rape, 86% of perpetrators were also men (NISVS, 2015). Many people take these statistics as saying “86-97% of men are perpetrators of rape,” which is far from the case. We can’t fall into this myth because it de-legitimizes male victims of sexual violence and incorrectly states that all men commit acts of sexual violence. However, we can’t just ignore that fact that the vast majority of perpetrators are men and ignore the societal factors responsible for that. Many men don’t commit acts of violence, but even the smallest amount of tolerance from these men allows other men to act that violence out. Also notice that neither of these statistics has anything to do with losing control over sexual desires or sexual orientation. Sexual violence occurs when one person wants to take power and control from another.
Power and Control: Men are often taught that if they are not in control of a situation then they are weak and unmanly. Some ways in which men are taught to be in control involves taking that control away by minimizing, degrading, pressuring, intimidating, etc. other people. By using these strategies it becomes very easy to take advantage of another person, resulting in various types of violence like sexual harassment/assault. The belief that power and control is what makes someone a man is not only untrue, but very dangerous so we have to steer clear from these myths about masculinity.
Over 2019, I’ll look at and discuss what it means to be a man with those who identify with masculinity, as well as what that means for our society as a whole. I think we can all agree that we want to be the best versions of ourselves and represent our identities in a healthy manner. Masculinity is not in danger, unhealthy masculinity is. Which is something everyone should be able to support.