The Tale
Izze Johnson, Loveland Intern
*This film and blog post could be very triggering to survivors of childhood sexual assault*
The Tale, available on HBO, is described by filmmaker Jennifer Fox as a “fictional memoir.” Although Fox does not consider the film to be wholly accurate to her lived experiences, she considers the film to be strongly based on true events that she experienced as a 13-year old.
The film alternates between the adult Jennifer Fox (played by Laura Dern), and the 13-year old Jennifer (Jenny) Fox (played by Isabelle Nelisse). For the sake of clarity, I will use the name Jennifer when referring to the adult version of the main character, and Jenny when referring to the young protagonist. The film follows two parallel storylines, one tracing the path of discovery and healing for Jennifer, and one that follows the life and perspective of Jenny.
When Jenny was 13, she was sent to a riding school where she learned to ride and handle horses. As a part of this training, Jenny and the other young girls would run together to improve their fitness, under the coaching of a man named Bill and the riding instructor, Mrs. G. As time went on, Bill began to treat Jenny as something special, repeatedly telling her how talented she was, and how much potential he saw in her. As one of many siblings, Jenny was not used to this sort of attention and quickly became attached to Bill. After grooming Jenny in this way, Bill took advantage of her trust and began sexually abusing her. This lasted for a year before Jenny decided to, as she saw it, “break up with him.” In Jennifer’s memories of this time, she feels that she had been in a loving relationship with Bill, that she had been old enough to have this sort of relationship, and that Bill truly loved her too. It is only upon reflection that Jennifer realizes what had truly taken place and how wrong it had been.
Notably, the depiction of Jenny morphs and changes as Jennifer remembers more clearly the events that took place. At the start of the film, Jennifer remembers herself as being 15 years old when she first met Bill, the running coach who would eventually go on to abuse Jenny. She remembers herself as being tall and gorgeous. After seeing a photograph of herself, however, Jennifer realizes that she had only been 13 when she first began training with Bill; she was very small and very young. This gradual clarity seemed to be an incredibly realistic depiction of the way in which memories surrounding trauma can be stored and recalled. Jenny felt much older than 13 at the time the abuse began: as she says repeatedly throughout the film, “I wanted to take my life into my own hands. I wanted to be in control.” It therefore follows that in her memory she does not view herself as an early teen. Jenny felt ready to be in charge of her own decisions; she felt ready to be in a relationship, despite the age difference between herself and Bill. As she says in the film, she felt truly loved by Bill. She viewed things with him as a romantic relationship… one that allowed her to grow up and grow into the woman she saw herself as being. She felt older than she truly was. It is only with the perspective offered to her by age and distance from the abuse that Jennifer realizes that regardless of the love she felt toward or from Bill, what he had done was wrong. The morphing image of Jenny impactfully shows how her memories of the events that occurred have been distorted in order to reflect how she felt at the time, and, perhaps more deeply, as a means of subconscious protection from the abuse that occurred.
This film was illuminating to me on the very real struggle to remember the true sequence of events, the true meaning of things that happened, and the reality of abuse when separated from the mind’s powerful ability for self-protection and self-preservation. I would highly recommend this film to anyone who would like to learn more about the effects and reality of childhood abuse. I feel that this film does an excellent job of depicting these realities in an artistic and accurate way.
References
Gross, Terry. “A ‘Tale’ of Childhood Sexual Abuse Was Inspired by Filmmaker’s Real-Life Trauma.”
NPR, August 8, 2018. https://www.npr.org/transcripts/636536848
McNally, Richard. “Recovering Memories of Trauma: A View from the Laboratory.” Department of
Psychology, Harvard University. Cambridge, Massachusetts.
https://www.psychologicalscience.org/journals/cd/12_1/mcnally.cfm